Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Why is your bed in the kitchen?

Came home tonight after a demanding workday to find my son studying with a friend in the family room. Which is also my bedroom. Shoot. So much for my detox half hour featuring/glass of white wine and poor but entertaining TV programming. I go upstairs and temporarily inhabit his room while they're downstairs. Just about fell asleep on the bed when he came up at around 6:30. "We're done," he says. Well, it was nice while it lasted.

So we live in a two bedroom house and there are three of us — not so bad, is it? When I chose this place, I decided that, considering my post-divorce financial situation, I'd rather have a really nice two-bedroom than a crappy three-bedroom. Somehow, I'd make a comfortable bedroom area in the downstairs space I now (lovingly?) call my studio apartment. My friend's four-year-old daughter came for a visit and asked, "Why is your bed in the kitchen?" God, I love four-year-olds! It was a really good question — one that tens of visitors to my home have probably wanted to ask themselves. I guess the best answer is that I'm continuing to make sacrifices for my two favorite people on the planet. Hope they'll appreciate it someday. I think they already do — but not fully. They won't until they have offspring of their own — and are denied the basic comforts they now take for granted. I mean, let's face it — babies are little Hitlers, really. You're at their beck and call 24/7, and if you slip up, the wrath of a Nazi baby could very well be upon you. Yeah, you're pissed off. But it's your job, and you don't take it lightly. At least I don't. My babies are now teenagers, and my new challenges are no less demanding. Don't know what it is inside me that's made these human beings my No. 1 priority, but they are — often at my expense. Best decision I ever made.

But my bed's not supposed to be in the kitchen. I'm 46 and a graduate of USC, for godsakes. I grew up in an upscale area and followed my mom's advice to the T: Go to college, get your degree, get married, wait a few years, then start a family. Unfortunately she left out the part about finding a GOOD man. She also neglected to mention not to give up your goals or ambitions to follow a man you think you're in love with. Oh well. Not bitter. Great kids. And this amazing two-bedroom house happens to be smack dab in the middle of the loveliest spot on earth. I'm convinced it's God's vacation destination. Which is why all of the roads, twists, and turns have led us to this spot, this house, this situation. He's so obviously right here with us. And if I want a snack in the middle of the night, it's just a few short steps to the pantry. How cool is that?


  1. Thanks for the dose of reality. Now I am convicted about my poor attitudes about my kids, notably the "pressures" that I am feeling about Jenn's wedding coming up in 15 short weeks. Yes, the have to do with $$$!

    Funny, how life turns out. You got advice from your mom/parents, of which Yvonne and I received none. She "forgot" one important point, but that is a pretty tough call for anyone to make when we are "in love."

    Your priorities are well chosen. You will be rewarded in the years to come... I know, that really doesn't help right now :)

  2. I wrote my mom a thank-you letter today because of this. :)