“He wiped his face with his handkerchief, for he was quite warm from the exertion of being Chairman of the World. It had taken more running and leaping and sliding than he had imagined.” (from Stuart Little by E.B. White)
Why do I feel I must move mountains to ensure everyone's needs are met? My boss must be happy with my work performance even though she never is. Deadlines must be met, even though we are painfully understaffed at the office. The kids must have at least three home-cooked meals a week even though I've been working 10-hour days lately. I must bring a homemade dish to our gathering of girlfriends tonight, and it must be wonderful. Problem is, in my plight to do-all/please-all, I'm pretty much a walking, talking wreck most of the time.
Who elected me Chairman of the World? Would I absolutely perish if I were just Kirsten? What if someone noticed that I cut a corner here or there or dropped the ball completely? And would it be totally beneath me to ask for a little help once in a while? Would people think less of me? Would it matter?
New approach: I will not try to be Chairman of the World today.
You are a wonderful, kind, caring, and beautiful soul Kirsten. Chairman of the world is much over rated, and I have found as my kiddos grow up that much of what I thought was so important wasn't. What they remember is the times I took out of the chairman job to sit and play cards, or listen to their stories, or just let down and tell them the truth about my overwhelmed life and ask for their help. It made them free to do the same and taught them that it is okay not to be 'perfect'. That is a gift in itself, and sometimes that is the best a single hard working Mom can do, which is more than enough. They know how much you care, they know how much you love them, and your true friends are not going to care if you show up with nothing but yourself, or something you snagged from the Crock. I know how hard this is, but putting you first is important, critically important, and it shows them how to do that for themselves.
ReplyDeleteHave I told you lately how much we love and respect you? Well we do, and that is forever!!
Love,
Heather and the brood
Heather, what a lovely reply. You are so right and I value your insight.xo ~k
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